That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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