Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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