My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
