Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
