I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
