420 ftw
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
