Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
