he thought i was a dude.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
