real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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