her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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