Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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