Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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