We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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