I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
ttyl tear gas
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
