So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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