I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize