We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
