whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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