you're like a bully in the Christmas story
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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