Your tits are I can't wait for
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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