We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
