It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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