You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
