I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
