Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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