Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize