I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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