I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
