dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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