That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
