And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Randomize
