After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
