Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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