I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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