Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
