I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think