don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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