i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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