I wanna bring you to show and tell
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
