I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
only if we run a train.
done.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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