the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
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