When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
