someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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