So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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