But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
