DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Is Oprah even human
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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