He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
