Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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