Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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