Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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