I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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