hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize