Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
