I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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