i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
