nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
