Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
