Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize