How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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